Download 700 Sundays by Billy Crystal PDF

By Billy Crystal

To help his family members, Billy Crystal's father, Jack, labored jobs, having just one day per week to spend along with his kin. in keeping with Crystal's one-man Broadway express of an analogous identify, "700 Sundays"--referring unfortunately to the time shared by means of an adoring father and his dedicated son--offers a heartfelt, hilarious memoir. photographs all through.

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7 0 0 Sundays five-skin! Look at the size of this thing! Hey, throw it on the car. ” Because, you find out, in Yiddish “bris” means blood and buffet. Sunday Number Three. I got a gun. I was only two weeks old, but if somebody was coming near my dick again, they were going down. Now you can’t pick the family that you’re born into. That’s just the roll of the dice. It’s just luck. But if I could pick these people, I would pick them over and over again because they were lunatics. Fun lunatics. What a crazy group of people, and great characters too.

M. you’d hear him every morning, like a Jewish rooster, waking up the neighborhood. ” This was not just a cough, it was a plea for help. Once he was done coughing, the farting would start. A true Whitman Sampler, every kind you can imagine, and some you can’t possibly think could come from a human being. The problem was, he couldn’t hear it. And when you’re a little kid, that noise is the funniest thing you ever heard in your life, and he would keep talking, as he tooted away. “Billy, you know what I think (fart) I’m going to do (fart).

I couldn’t believe it. It proved to me that even if you’re four foot six, you could be forty feet tall. At the end of the movie, Shane rides off into the sunset. The kid runs after him and he screams, “Shane . . ” I sat there, the projection light flickering behind me, the music swelling as well as the tears in my eyes, and I looked at that kid on the big screen, and I wanted it to be me. And you know something? It was a Sunday. ” Louis laughed so hard, throwing his head back, pounding the table .

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